An Epiphany at 2 and a half months

Way back when I was only a little pregnant ;), Chris and I took one of those DIY-gender prediction tests, aka waste of $30. It told us we were having a boy. We were excited and partially because Chris hasn't had one of those yet :). I imagined him going to baseball games with Daddy and Grandpas, birthdays with hotwheels cars, monster truck rallies and MMA summer camps.

I'd "gotten used to" the idea of having a boy.. When we found out we were having a girl I certainly wasn't disappointment or unhappy. The problem was that for the first half of my pregnancy I was thinking of boy stuff.

After her birth I looked at her. She was most definitely the best decision I've ever made and the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Since I am breastfeeding and holding her most of the day that she isn't sleeping, I really had no problems bonding to my amazing little girl.

However, something happened yesterday that actually kind of surprised me. I decided to resurrect my girly side yesterday and I put on my purple sundress. River has some clothing over at her Noni's house that she hasn't worn yet (and won't get a chance to if she doesn't do it soon!) so I waited to change her until we got there. I put her in a purple gingham dress with flowers sewn into the bottom.

As I was feeding her, holding her close to me, she put her little tiny hand on my dress and closed her eyes. I realized that I had suddenly and all at once "gotten used to" having a little girl. While we were both dressed in little girly purple dresses it dawned on me that I hadn't thought of those same kinds of things I had when I thought I was having a boy.

I started imagining pony rides and pink birthday parties and picking flowers and...well, and baseball games with the boys, hotwheels cars and monster truck rallies....maybe kickboxing classes.

You see, I never thought of myself as a girly girl...but I don't have to to raise a wonderful girl. I just have to expose her to lots of different things and let her choose. If she wants to ride ponies and pick flowers all day, more power to her...but if she also wants to play sports and watch horror movies with Dad...hey, that's awesome too.

My sweet sweet girl...always remember that whether you're gay, straight, love kickboxing or unicorns, become a chef, a painter, a doctor or a traveler I will love you just the same. And I've done my job if you are happy at the end of the day.