A Disney moment for me is something that is astounding, or so amazing that you just want to take that moment, freeze it, make ice cream out of it and eat it up so that it simply becomes part of you. So that you never ever forget it. Those moments you find yourself just wanting to cry and smile all at the same time.
So I can list quickly the big Disney moments that I hope I never forget:
1. Staring into River's eyes as she fell asleep on the day she was born
2. Watching her little hands dance around while we were breastfeeding
3. The first time River pulled herself up to standing
4. The time she asked me if she could listen to my heartbeat
5. When she says Namaste or chants little songs to herself
6. Every time she says "I love you, Mommy"
7. Tonight. Everything about it...
Chris had a soccer meeting earlier than normal and it was an admin day at work so he dropped Miss River off with me around 330p today. For the most part she was great. And she had a great time with Auntie Tanya and Miss Yvonne, drawing pictures, watching cartoons and helping Auntie Tanya find her missing key.
We eventually found our way home and settled in. Chris was quickly back at home and I could tell River was getting tired. Because she gets hyper. As always she was testing boundaries and my patience, but we both kept it together surprisingly well, especially with the day I'd had.
Dinner was simple, grilled cheese and lots of salad with cucumbers and sweet peppers, and broccolli. Just before bedtime, Chris put on Lyle Lyle Crocodile and River settled down instantly. Her eyelids became heavy and when the movie ended River picked up her blanket and made herself a nice little picnic. Chris called me over to see her cute little scene and she invited us to join her. Chris brought the ice cream for dessert and we just hung out for a few moments of peace and love. Pretty awesome right there.
River got her pjs on and brushed her little teeth. Chris read a few more pages of our fairy tale and we joked around a bit (Chris was pretending to be River so River pretended to be Daddy), but River was having a little bit of trouble closing her eyes this time. So I asked if she wanted me to sing. We cuddled up close.
"Sing 'Insy winsy spider' momma." So I did. I sang Old Mcdonald, I sang two little kitty cats, two little blackbirds, To my little one's cradle, She sells seashells, Today's now Yesterday. I even sang a lullaby completely in Spanish. We sang some songs over again and she sang along. It was really quite fun and relaxing. Then I decided I would pull out the old favorites. The songs I used to sing to her when she was a tiny baby and we were in the car (for ANY length of time) and I'd be crying and she'd be wailing because she so so so hated the car. This song worked every.single.time. Baby River would stop crying for even a few fleeting moments because of something magical about this song. God, don't ask me why...
"Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, etc. etc." I sang the state song. Twice.
"Momma, can you sing me one last song?" Sure. Of course. I had one in my back pocket...
"Insy winsy spider again, momma." Okay, but then I get to sing You are my sunshine.
So we sang Insy winsy spider. Then I began to sing You are my sunshine.
*Background: This is our song. This has been our family song since before River was born. Before she ever knew it was our song. We sang it to her while I was pregnant because a wise woman (Pam England) told us that after she was born she would react to it. So we sang it every day. Then we sang it when she was born. She would calm down for a few brief moments. We sang it a lot.*
I get three verses in tonight and she starts crying. Not a pain cry, or a tired cry, or a cry of fear. I haven't sang this song in a long time. I'm wondering if she's really crying or this if this was just my imagination...so I turn and she's really crying. I say, "What's wrong sweety?"
"I miss my Nonnie!" I picked her up and rocked her to sleep. I held her so tightly. I don't know what exactly elicited such a response, but I do know that I was the exact same way as a kiddo. Every once in a while I'd get nostalgic. I'd hear a song or think of a fond memory and I'd just want to hug somebody. I'd cry too. I really think that's just what happened tonight. She remembers us singing it and/or her Nonnie singing it and she just became my emotional little girl.
It's amazing to me every time she hits one of these milestones, this one being emotional development, and I'm just never prepared for them. She is so amazing.
So there you have it. Not exactly a moment of joy necessarily, but a pure moment. A moment that took my breath away. My sweet girl. I love you brighter than the Sunshine.
